Ranting

People don’t seem to understand how hard it is to live nowadays. Adults are stuck with the impression that things haven’t changed from when they grew up, but they have, and it’s a lot harder to do anything. I don’t know if I can even manage to do this every day, this constant reminder that I’m not good enough and I can’t do this. It seems pretty ridiculous that we kids actually have mental problems, but it really isn’t that uncommon considering the things you put us through. We are freshman in a college course. We are freshman who don’t have time for anything. We are freshman who would rather forgo doing anything school related to finally be able to hang out with our friends. We are freshman! We can’t do everything that adults can do. Heck, we can’t even do everything that sophomores’ do! So stop expecting so much of us. It’s understandable that you expect some things from us, but you shouldn’t be inclined to stab us in the skull with this shiv of information that we don’t want to deal with right now. You are taking the school districts problems and trying to fix them through force. I love to learn, but I don’t love to be forced to learn. And that’s exactly what you are doing. Through homework and grades and threats you are forcing us to learn in constricted amounts of time. Not only are you constricting the time we learn, but you are making us learn things that take more than three class periods. We pour over our work every night. We deal with the pounding in our heads because that extra time we got to be online or play is so much more now that we don’t have any more time. Our backs are bad already and we aren’t even past the age of 20. Our parents complain when we have headaches every day. We sit in a classroom with fluorescent lighting for 9 hours and then spend another 3 hours doing after school things and another finishing up homework. You wonder why we are sleep deprived. You wonder why we don’t want to do anything. You wonder why we hate school. Look in a mirror. Look at what you’ve done with learning. We are disgusted. We don’t want anything to do with school. We don’t want anything to do with what you are trying to achieve.  
Look at what you’ve done to us. Each individual student. Look at the marks of stress and pain and sleep deprivation that you have brought upon us. We are tired. We are stressed. We are so done with all of this tyrannical teaching that we can’t even talk about classes without wishing to slam our heads against the table we are sitting at. You force us to learn, you force us to work, and you force us to kill ourselves, however slowly, and we sit in our seats and try so hard to escape through witty comments and half-done plans that never really make it past 5th hour. We are dead inside. We have to hide ourselves for some semblance of protection from the words that are silently spit at us throughout the day.
You aren’t doing enough.
You don’t work hard enough.
You are not enough.
Please don’t make me learn about a future that I’ll never have. Don’t make me hate myself more than I already do.